Finding Pause in Parenting
Like many parents, I've learned that even the best laid plans and most loving intentions can sometimes go awry. There are times when kids don't want to listen or do as they're told and you wonder: "Why am I reacting this way? Why isn’t anything I am doing working?"
I challenge you to consider this: maybe it's not them—maybe it's us! As parents, we all have moments where we need to pause and reconnect with ourselves so that we can be more patient with our children.
Pausing can create space to find calm, and in turn, connect with your child in a more present way. Finding pause is an important part of being a parent.
Create your own pausing plan:
A pausing plan can help you to manage your energy and emotions.
It can simply be, “when i start to feel the rise of annoyance/frustration, i’m going to take a moment to check in with myself. Do i need to review my options? Do I need to take a step away?”
A pausing plan isn't just for when there are two parents involved--it's for any parent who has more than one child (or even one!). If you're raising kids by yourself and have no other adults around during the day, then creating a plan is especially important because it will help keep things running smoothly and calmly.
Ask for help when you need a bigger pause
There's no shame in taking a little time to yourself, especially if it means you'll be better able to care for your family. If you need some space from your children, consider asking another adult (like a grandparent or close friend) to watch them for an hour or two so that you can escape into the coffee shop around the corner. Or maybe there are some community resources available in your area: free playgroups where kids can interact with one another while parents drink coffee together? Maybe it's time to reach out and ask someone if they'd like some extra childcare help one day per week?
If finances allow, consider finding a professional who specializes in helping parents navigate stressful situations--whether that means working through relationship issues with your partner or learning how best to handle tantrums from toddlers at home.
Take care of your basic needs.
It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of parenting and forget to take care of your own needs, but this is crucial for your mental health. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, enjoying your hobbies and spending time with friends--and practice self-care!
Parenting is a tough job, but there are ways to take care of yourself and your family in the midst of it all.
It's important to remember that you're not alone in feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed by responsibilities. Many parents feel this way at some point during their child's life, whether it be because of financial stressors or health issues at home or work demands that leave little time for anything else. If you find yourself struggling with anxiety or depression as a result of being a parent, there are resources available--including counseling or coaching sessions with professionals like me who understand what it means for parents. The sessions can help you feel less isolated from other people going through similar experiences as you do, and you can walk away with skills and plans to help.